Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing Wedding Vows

By Annamaria Heyliger-Hector

Wedding vows used to be based only on tradition, a solemn promise, an expression of love and commitment but times have changed. The length of a ceremony is based on the culture and the order of events, which is up to the couple. A few examples of ceremonies are religious, traditional, civil, short and sweet, or commitment. The traditional/religious vows depend on the faith of the couple and include promises of staying together, obeying, faithfulness, loving one another until death and following the sacred bonds as set forth by the church.

Some couples write meaningful vows and they can take some time and are based on their religious books or teachings. I recommend spending time with leaders for guidance, as it is courteous to follow those religious traditions. Civil ceremonies are usually performed by a justice of the piece and not as strict as the traditional ceremony. Short and sweet are just what they say and may include poems, readings and any other writings that are quick and to the point.

In modern day, most of the ceremonies are non-denominational and exclude any reference to religion or higher power. Couples are opting to write their own vows, skipping the traditional commitments of “till death do us part.” Others think that vows are not really necessary and have no real legal significance, it is just a part of a wedding ceremony and do not give vows much attention. Wedding vows vary from commitment to convenience and can be in a church, beach, cruise ship or anywhere the heart desire.

You can elect to have a wedding without any vows, you can stand before a licensed public official, indicate that you are going to take each other as husband and wife, sign the papers before witnesses and the requirements have been met. Wedding vows can be very serious or funny depending on the demeanor of the couple and their courting experience.

Short ceremonies are extremely popular and are simple promises to bind couples together. Whatever style is selected it should be expressive and clear.


Annamaria Heyliger-Hector has a Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration with a concentration in organizational psychology and development, also a Master’s Degree in Education with a concentration in leadership of educational organizations. She is a Life Coach, Certified Wedding Specialist, Events Planner, Etiquette Trainer/Consultant and an Officiant. She has worked for many years in management,  education and training. She is currently an elementary education teacher and previously worked as a property manager/consultant. She owns a consulting and event planning business and has made many presentations to schools, businesses and professional organizations.

Some of the presentations include: women helping girls with choices, dressing for success, customer service, human resource management, time management, interventions, motivation, mentoring and tutoring. She is involved in many community organizations while serving on a board or as a member. She has received numerous accolades and awards for community service. Annamaria is a married mother and grandmother who is excited and gregarious about working on life changing activities and life coaching developments.

Annamaria Heyliger-Hector
Evolve Consulting – Owner
Wedding Officiant, Consultant and Event Planner

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