Tips to Make Your Marriage Work


By  Annamaria Heyliger-Hector, MEd, CWS

As an officiant and life coach, I counsel and share information with couples that are about to embark on a most important decision; marriage. I usually have a testimony and suggest tips about what can prevent a lifetime of angst and heart break because souls were not searched.

Making a list of items to discuss is not a bad idea after the relationship becomes serious. A few things that should be done before marriage is to figure out why you want to get married and get to know all of the facts about finances and previous commitments.

Are you comfortable with yourself before committing to someone else? Can you take care of yourself? How are you around children? Are you comfortable with your career and what about outstanding items on your bucket list? Are there any red flags that need to be addressed? How do you fit in with the family?

Once you have done the soul searching and committed to marriage, it is important to always remember to listen and communicate. Find a higher power that you can both turn to in the event of a disagreement; limit sharing any misfortunes with friends, no matter how close.

Continuously love and respect each other; do not compare each other to anyone else. Trust is a big factor and avoid any reason to doubt or cast uncertainty in the relationship. Be willing to embrace change or major decisions together; turn towards each other instead of away. If there is an impasse, let a little time pass and revisit the issue in a calm and compromising manner.

A marriage is not always a bed of roses but your commitment to each other will see you through the good times and bad. Again, always show interest in each other, appreciation, empathy, concern, affection, care and LOVE. Love is always in the details, and happy couples respect each other and generally look forward to sharing the joy of resolve.

Annamaria Heyliger-Hector
MEd, CWS, Certified Event
Planner & Etiquette Consultant

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