Signs of Possible Domestic Abuse Before and After Marriage


By  Chatiela Underwood, Author, Eyes Wide Shut

Often time’s domestic abuse doesn’t start off physical. It can initiate from small words of disrespect, and escalate and manifest from verbal to its physical form without warning.

Domestic abuse can be patterns of behaviors in any relationship whether the marriage is heterosexual or homosexual. The behaviors can easily happen in the blink of an eye, when one person uses power to gain and maintain control over the other.

Abuse is abuse, and can surface in various forms: verbal, physical, sexual, or even emotional. Either way, make a mental note: It is equally wrong!

Don’t fall victim. Here are some signs to lookout for…

• Do you find yourself on the receiving end of a verbal lashing?

• Do you find yourself feeling degraded?

• Have you been told you’re not good enough, too fat, or lazy?

• Have you even been made to feel alienated, or embarrassed?

• Do you hide physical wounds or mental pain from your loved ones?

Verbal lashings, intimidation, and constant put downs play a major role on your psyche and self-esteem. Often times it can escalate and manifest into physical wounds!

Once those boundaries have been crossed, it becomes more difficult. You’ll find yourself asking countless questions without answers:

• Why is this happening to me?

• How did I ever get here?

• Where do I go from here?

• What did I do wrong?

No matter the circumstance you are not to blame!

Here are some more warning signs that indicate it’s time to take actions and find a resolution for yourself and/or your children:

• Are you secretly suffering at the hands or mouth of your partner?

• Do you feel ashamed and backed against the wall?

If the answer is “Yes!”, then seek professional help immediately.

For additional assistance contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE.


chatiela-underwoodChatiela Underwood is the author of Eyes Wide Shut, a provocative story full of love, hope, betrayal, deceit, and the living of double lives. Chatiela is also the creator and co-host of the online talk show, Host Rise to Shine Radio, which, like her book, is bringing about awareness to people living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, abuse, mental illnesses, and AIDS.

Learn more on her website at

Contact Chatiela at 317-350-4609 or

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